Burnout to Believing: How Simple Relationship Skills Boost Educator Well-Being

The fourth of the five SEL Competencies. The one that is packed pretty full. We're humans, social animals, there's always a need for relationship skills. I've spent most of my career in middle schools so these skills are always on full blast for the 👍🏼 and 👎🏼. I never miss an opportunity to reflect, model, instruct, promote, reinforce, etc. healthy relationship skills, because they matter. It's that simple. It's what the research says. It's what the data shows. It's what I've experienced and felt. Even if with just one student!

Don't think of these as behavior or classroom management strategies that are going to fix everything, but as a way for you to stay healthier, to feel what that's like, to take the time to notice and note, to grow and celebrate together.

First, A Little Brain Science

Supportive language builds connections. It signals safety in our brains. This is needed now more than ever since it's pretty much an amygdala-run show in schools these days. Very little safety and few basic needs met so the stress response is the only response. The only signals are instincts. This is when stress hormones flood our bodies, and that my peeps, leads to burnout🔥

Phrases and language choices are simple and effective places to start or look into a re-vamp. Not only do they signal safety to the student's brain but also to yours. Having a stockpile of supportive phrases to use during periods of stress or escalation (anyone's) always gave me the confidence and calm to move forward. All while boosting everyone's emotional regulation and resilience.

Practical Strategies That You Can Do Today

Micro-learning strategies are easy to implement and simple to add into your daily routine.

1.Support Don't Supress

We spend way too much time shutting down emotions. Ours...Theirs... When we should be acknowledging them more often. Phrases like "I'm here to help" or "it's ok to feel that way" encourage self-awareness that can lead to healtheir responses. Give your pre-frontal cortex a way to stay in the game, even if it's just for a second. If it's enough to take a breath, it's enough to make a shift. Try just one, keep it simple, but be sure to note how it influences everyone's responses over time.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

2.De-Escalation Is A Skill (For Real Though)

The next time you're faced with one of those challenging situations, try one of these. "I see this is hard, but we'll figure it out." Our brains tend to choose discomfort and stress because it's what they know due to our responses over time. However, when we repeatedly practice calm responses like this, it helps rewire our brains to choose a healthier path, strengthening emotional intelligence and overall well-being. At minimum it can act as a distraction to allow a chance for a shift.

Sticking to it is 🔑

Using a visual to help get in the right space is a tool I love. I've been doing this a long time and this gives me that added confidecne to know I have options. It's ok, make it accessible. Use your resources like we preach to students.

3.Repairing The Harm Doesn't Have To Be Scary

Brace yourself....Conflict is inevitble. Using language that fosters cooperation helps you and your students avoid the reactive stresss spiral 🌪️. Simple language like "How can we fix this together?" keeps things solutions-focused. This reduces activity in the amygdala over time. Having simple language options also reduces some of that awkwardness that can come with conflict-resolution conversations.

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Small Aacts, Big Changes

When it comes to educator well-being, relationship skills aren't just for students but also for our personal wellness. Again, not fixes to all of the problems, but they are social-emotional learning skills like managing stress, staying present, and fostering positive interactions which everyone needs.

Follow along for practical tips on burnout prevention and resources to support educator well-being while building a more posiive learning space. Just one...try just one! Remember...the little things do matter ✨

Mindfully Yours,

Crystal @MsTTalks